wow, so first off i should definitely be sleeping right now. or at least going to bed and not blogging. but sometimes you just have to get your thoughts out so you can sleep...and really i can't sleep just yet, i have "homework" to do...apparently that doesn't stop after school is over, it's different kind of work but i'm still at home and doing work after hours -hence homework.
the interesting thing about my homework is that i'm brainstorming to revamp this show but i won't even be around to execute it. it's so weird to be around right as everything is taking off. i'm torn about not sticking around. i keep saying that i love the ministry and i love what they do, i love the show, etc. i just don't love my job, i don't love being alone and packing boxes and that stuff. however i realize that being as i'm the intern girl i need to suck it up and just run the errands! i just think that if i have a choice of what i do with my time then i should look at the other options before i settle on this where i'm not sure if i'm supposed to stay. ugh i'm not good at having a vision for my future...well ok that's not necessarily true. i'm just not sure what i want to do for income in my life and at the moment that's something i need to know. i just wish i had a goal or dream career wise so that i would know what i want to build up to. i feel like i'm very experienced in a very specific area that is basically a non-profit field and i'm educated in a very broad field that requires more training if i want to actually get a job....

Lord, I meant to leave my schedule open, I just assumed you'd fill it by now ; ) Continue to guide me and open the right doors for me. Lord please shut doors that I need to stay out of. Please keep me from making the "easy" decisions, or from trying to please others with my plans....Please send the right opportunity my way!

Changedfish

"I wish it would all just stop...like Kindergarten"


So my class is almost here. I actually get to teach high school girls, they're letting me educate the leaders of tomorrow about biblical womanhood. And I want it to be a fun class, I want them to enjoy it- it's an elective for goodness sakes- but I can't figure out exactly how to go about it. I have all these vague ideas of topics and stuff but then I look at the schedule and I'm like, uhhh how am I going to fill a 50 min class period? I'm hoping that Dannah can channel some of my ideas when we meet tomorrow but at the same time I feel like I'm showing up at our meeting with very little to show for myself. I want to feel researched and ready to present my ideas but I feel like my ideas are still very primary and hello the class starts a week from today!!

All that stress aside, I'm so excited to be teaching a class that I care about and I really think I could do a great job- scratch that, I think I WILL do a good job with it. I know that I will push to be prepared and that it'll all come together as it's supposed to.

Teacher of the year here I come, Changedfish