wow, so first off i should definitely be sleeping right now. or at least going to bed and not blogging. but sometimes you just have to get your thoughts out so you can sleep...and really i can't sleep just yet, i have "homework" to do...apparently that doesn't stop after school is over, it's different kind of work but i'm still at home and doing work after hours -hence homework.
the interesting thing about my homework is that i'm brainstorming to revamp this show but i won't even be around to execute it. it's so weird to be around right as everything is taking off. i'm torn about not sticking around. i keep saying that i love the ministry and i love what they do, i love the show, etc. i just don't love my job, i don't love being alone and packing boxes and that stuff. however i realize that being as i'm the intern girl i need to suck it up and just run the errands! i just think that if i have a choice of what i do with my time then i should look at the other options before i settle on this where i'm not sure if i'm supposed to stay. ugh i'm not good at having a vision for my future...well ok that's not necessarily true. i'm just not sure what i want to do for income in my life and at the moment that's something i need to know. i just wish i had a goal or dream career wise so that i would know what i want to build up to. i feel like i'm very experienced in a very specific area that is basically a non-profit field and i'm educated in a very broad field that requires more training if i want to actually get a job....

Lord, I meant to leave my schedule open, I just assumed you'd fill it by now ; ) Continue to guide me and open the right doors for me. Lord please shut doors that I need to stay out of. Please keep me from making the "easy" decisions, or from trying to please others with my plans....Please send the right opportunity my way!

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