so i have yet to finish transferring all my Israel journals here and it's almost august- what a bum!
but i had this epiphony of sorts. i'm discovering that there's this period of time (namely, the teen years) where people just want people to know them and understand them, it's such a self-conscious time and it's those years where you're getting to know who you are in general, not jsut as a product of your environment and you have this overwhelming desire to be understood to be known and to be accepted for who you truly are. and it's not that those desires change as you get older- and for those who don't figure out what humanity's original intent was it may never go away- but somehow the need for people to know everything about you deafens a bit.
i started this blog i suppose as a cry for people to know me, for people to read my true thoughts and as a ploy for people to truly accept me for who i am and who i was. but as the years have gone on i've grown out of caring so much whether people know all about my life or not. i've morphed into a person who loves people and who loves friends but i don't need them to read an e-journal to get to know me, i want to know people face to face, i want to experience life with my friends and family and for them to be a part of who i become.
and i know there have been times and there will be many more times when i wish that i'd stop to write down the incredible journey i'm taking and all the roads i've traveled, but to take that time to write it out and to have that feeling of exposure to random folks i don't know or don't keep in contact with for good reason, i don't know that i need that.
i'm not saying goodbye for good and i'm definitely not deleting this blog or anything so drastic. but i wanted to write down my little epiphony as a way to allow myself break free of my obligatory feelings to this blog, of the completely unnecessary and unfounded guilt of abandoning it in order to live life in the flesh.
and maybe now that i'm home for a few months and maybe now that i don't feel the need to write, perhaps now more than ever i will write. but i make no promises.
changedfish- making my world a better place, it's clean up day
but i had this epiphony of sorts. i'm discovering that there's this period of time (namely, the teen years) where people just want people to know them and understand them, it's such a self-conscious time and it's those years where you're getting to know who you are in general, not jsut as a product of your environment and you have this overwhelming desire to be understood to be known and to be accepted for who you truly are. and it's not that those desires change as you get older- and for those who don't figure out what humanity's original intent was it may never go away- but somehow the need for people to know everything about you deafens a bit.
i started this blog i suppose as a cry for people to know me, for people to read my true thoughts and as a ploy for people to truly accept me for who i am and who i was. but as the years have gone on i've grown out of caring so much whether people know all about my life or not. i've morphed into a person who loves people and who loves friends but i don't need them to read an e-journal to get to know me, i want to know people face to face, i want to experience life with my friends and family and for them to be a part of who i become.
and i know there have been times and there will be many more times when i wish that i'd stop to write down the incredible journey i'm taking and all the roads i've traveled, but to take that time to write it out and to have that feeling of exposure to random folks i don't know or don't keep in contact with for good reason, i don't know that i need that.
i'm not saying goodbye for good and i'm definitely not deleting this blog or anything so drastic. but i wanted to write down my little epiphony as a way to allow myself break free of my obligatory feelings to this blog, of the completely unnecessary and unfounded guilt of abandoning it in order to live life in the flesh.
and maybe now that i'm home for a few months and maybe now that i don't feel the need to write, perhaps now more than ever i will write. but i make no promises.
changedfish- making my world a better place, it's clean up day
posted by changedfish @ 2:01 AM
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