Buck up fella
ok so i know i'm a creeper, but i have this thing where i don't like people that i enjoy the company of to be unhappy and i don't really know how to fix things ever (me and tact are not friends) so i usually just begin smothering them until i feel that awkward tense moment where i realize that they're creeped out or until they tell me to stop or until it works and they feel better- as you can see that is a 1 in 3 chance at best that my smothering plan will work and let me just say that i doubt if the odds are truly that favorable, i've been smothered before...not great.
anyhow so, i've realized this pattern in myself and i'm wondering if this is a self-destructive move that i need to remove from my list of defense mechanisms (though i suppose it's more of an offense mechanism- or an offensive mechanism if you want to shoot for a humorus title). and when i say self- destructive i simply mean that it can't possibly be good for me or my social relations to simply attach myself to those who seem to be hurting. and it's worse when i don't knwo the person very well, i mean then i have no chance of guessing what style of compassion they need so i just try all sorts of things. apparently my friendship making skills aren't really that great, i start out by acting like we've known eachother for decades and then once i've known them a while and am suitably comfortable i then backtrack and begin the calmer friendship building activities like asking about parents occupations or school mascots. i mean it seems to be working ok, but i fear i frighten people at first (and not just cuz i'm insecure...cuz they tell me i do lol)
well, that's really all i was thinking- i watched gilmore girls tonight (crazy things going on in that life by the way) and so i'm typing really fast and thinking really fast and have all these witty things to say rolling around in my head...it's an odd side effect but one i thourally enjoy.
cheer up sport,
changedfish
ok so i know i'm a creeper, but i have this thing where i don't like people that i enjoy the company of to be unhappy and i don't really know how to fix things ever (me and tact are not friends) so i usually just begin smothering them until i feel that awkward tense moment where i realize that they're creeped out or until they tell me to stop or until it works and they feel better- as you can see that is a 1 in 3 chance at best that my smothering plan will work and let me just say that i doubt if the odds are truly that favorable, i've been smothered before...not great.
anyhow so, i've realized this pattern in myself and i'm wondering if this is a self-destructive move that i need to remove from my list of defense mechanisms (though i suppose it's more of an offense mechanism- or an offensive mechanism if you want to shoot for a humorus title). and when i say self- destructive i simply mean that it can't possibly be good for me or my social relations to simply attach myself to those who seem to be hurting. and it's worse when i don't knwo the person very well, i mean then i have no chance of guessing what style of compassion they need so i just try all sorts of things. apparently my friendship making skills aren't really that great, i start out by acting like we've known eachother for decades and then once i've known them a while and am suitably comfortable i then backtrack and begin the calmer friendship building activities like asking about parents occupations or school mascots. i mean it seems to be working ok, but i fear i frighten people at first (and not just cuz i'm insecure...cuz they tell me i do lol)
well, that's really all i was thinking- i watched gilmore girls tonight (crazy things going on in that life by the way) and so i'm typing really fast and thinking really fast and have all these witty things to say rolling around in my head...it's an odd side effect but one i thourally enjoy.
cheer up sport,
changedfish
posted by changedfish @ 1:06 AM
2 Comments:
At 10:20 PM ,
Grace Slowik said...
well...I think your overexuberance works for some people. It helps them feel loved...not like I speak from experience or anything. But anyway, don't forget that self-destructiveness is a way at looking at something. Sometimes you are just being who you are and other times you do need to change. Well, that is what I have been told anyway. And, if it makes you feel better sometimes I have to rethink my friend making habits....lol!
But whatever comes of this, know that I like you lack of tact and all!
It makes me look better. JK!
At 10:49 PM ,
coveredindust said...
That's great Mel! It's been really encouraging to see the self realizations you've made this past year. And some of the ways you've attempted to view your life differently. Yeah, you're not perfect, and you never will be. But it's great to see that you know that, and always strive to change for the better, always becoming more Christ like.
Post a Comment
<< Home