I have a confession...i think i'm beautiful

ok so i have my fat days like everyone else and i have my avoid the mirror cuz you look gross days the same as the rest of the world but the bottom line is i find myself to be an attractive individual. and the reason i classify this as a confession and not like prideful moments with melanie is becasue i feel like in society today the in thing is to be self-conscious. yes i'm insecure at times and i really do have those red-faced moments but truly how completely en-vogue is it to feel bad about yourself these days. i feel totally ridiculous saying that i find myself to be attractive. we all talk about how much we admire confidence in others and how we like people who like themselves and yet the unwritten rule is that you're not allowed to like yourself. hello, anyone pick up on the whole emo movement? it's like all of a sudden self-loathing is chic and liking yourself is geek (notice the rhyming...yeah i know).
i don't want to have to weigh myself, i don't want to have to diet, i don't care if my makeup smudges or if i don't wear any, i like my baggy jeans and i like my hoodies and it really doesn't matter to me if you see me in sweatpants. yes i want to be healthy and get some excersize and eat well but the pressure to be thin is overwhelming- who cares? seriously if i stop eating i'll die, weigh THAT!
i guess it doesn't seem like it's that big of a deal to think that you're beautiful but it seems that way, the same as no one telling me to my face that i'm fat doesn't make me think that- i mean with all the ridiculous media influence these days girls don't stand a chance, and when they think that they're supposed to feel insecure and hate themselves it doesn't leave much opportunity for high self-esteem or any kind of confidence...

i don't know where i'm going with this, all i have to say is that whether anyone else recognizes it or not (mom doesn't count) i find myself to be beautiful
changedfish- love the skin you're in