double revelation day- like it's the first time i've posted twice in one day

in closing yourself off you've somehow trained your subconscious to choose the most unattainable. it's as if you overcompensated in the negative direction, i don't know. and whether you know it or not, it'd never go through, and you do know that, but somehow you'd rather meditate on this far fetched tupperware icon. it's safer that way or something. like if you're totally submerged in fantasy the reality shoves to the background and you don't have to worry about it. i mean it's worked hasn't it?
i remember learning something about this in psych. about transferring thoughts, feelings, whatever. and i dunno, maybe it's not exactly a transfer, but it's a pretty much a purposeful distraction in order to feel full, not empty, emptiness leads to desperation and we all know what happens to the desperate- never good...
i have no idea what i wanted to write before i started this-changedfish