Best friends means best friends to me...best friends means you get what you deserve.
it's a contrast really, between the old and the new. fitting in, fading out. it's a delicate process really. i mean i don't want to offend my friends at home when i make new friends here, but at the same time it's not fair for me not to make any new friends.
i guess i never expected to make so many amazing friends so soon. i never expected to make the transition so easily. never expected to want this change. i figured that i'd make friends in due time and that until then i'd keep in contact with my old friends and kind of phase them down to a managable level of communication while i upped the level of friendship with the new people i met. but this hit me like a semi-truck (a wonderful smash of a truck, but none the less BAM)
i really love them- all of them. every moment i'm with them it's like this insane out of body experience where i'm just thinking no way are they hanging out with me, no way is this happening, no way are they this great.
i've found a group of people that are my style. they're comfortable to the nth degree, they're so open and friendly and silly and serious when they need to be. there's always something going on and yet they're all so hard working and dedicated. they're true friends to each other. they trust each other, they're there for each other, they communicate so beautifully with one another. sometimes one on one, sometimes in large groups- it's just fascinating to watch.
and the way they include me- i've never felt so loved so soon. i mean these people love me the way my friends back home do. they love me for my quirks and my odd remarks and ridiculous comments taht make you go "...HUH?" and it's just like i feel like i don't deserve them. that they're just hanging out with my becasue they're friends with my roommate, but then if i really analyze our time together i realize that that's not true, that they just know me through her, but that they accept me for me. i mean really you can tell when people are just tolerating you adn when people really want to be around you...
it's crazy though becasue i feel like i just want to give my all to these friendships, like every second i just want to tell them what they mean to me, that for months i fretted over how i was going to make it in a new state where i know no one and from the moment i met them they've all been the most incredible individuals alive. they go above and beyond the call of duty every single day. they're all so honest and real, they present themselves clearly just like 'this is me, like me or not, i'm going to be me' and it's just such an amazing role model to watch. they have no apparent fear about bearing themselves entirely. and no it's not like they've totally told me everything about themselves, but i just know that if i had a problem they'd be there for me on a moments notice and they'd do it gladly adn they'd talk to me for as long as i needed and they'd wipe my tears and they'd take a walk with me and calm me down or whatever i needed, and it's not that my friends at home wouldn't do the same, i know all of my friends back in cali wouldn't give a moments thought about coming to my rescue but these are people i've known for less than 3 weeks! i mean at home it's like people i've spent my entire life getting to know, or at least my high school years. people that i've been around so long it seems only natural that they'd do anything for me, but my new friends- they owe me nothing, i have nothing to give them, and they expect nothing from me in return for their extraordinary friendship.
have you ever met someone and just walked away thinking, wow i wish they were my friend- that's what every single one of these people is like, except i don't have to wish for their affection- they hand it over no questions asked. it's so surreal, it's just...that's what it is, it's surreal.
i never thought i could love people this deeply so soon after meeting them, but being here i know- this is a place for miracles- changedfish
it's a contrast really, between the old and the new. fitting in, fading out. it's a delicate process really. i mean i don't want to offend my friends at home when i make new friends here, but at the same time it's not fair for me not to make any new friends.
i guess i never expected to make so many amazing friends so soon. i never expected to make the transition so easily. never expected to want this change. i figured that i'd make friends in due time and that until then i'd keep in contact with my old friends and kind of phase them down to a managable level of communication while i upped the level of friendship with the new people i met. but this hit me like a semi-truck (a wonderful smash of a truck, but none the less BAM)
i really love them- all of them. every moment i'm with them it's like this insane out of body experience where i'm just thinking no way are they hanging out with me, no way is this happening, no way are they this great.
i've found a group of people that are my style. they're comfortable to the nth degree, they're so open and friendly and silly and serious when they need to be. there's always something going on and yet they're all so hard working and dedicated. they're true friends to each other. they trust each other, they're there for each other, they communicate so beautifully with one another. sometimes one on one, sometimes in large groups- it's just fascinating to watch.
and the way they include me- i've never felt so loved so soon. i mean these people love me the way my friends back home do. they love me for my quirks and my odd remarks and ridiculous comments taht make you go "...HUH?" and it's just like i feel like i don't deserve them. that they're just hanging out with my becasue they're friends with my roommate, but then if i really analyze our time together i realize that that's not true, that they just know me through her, but that they accept me for me. i mean really you can tell when people are just tolerating you adn when people really want to be around you...
it's crazy though becasue i feel like i just want to give my all to these friendships, like every second i just want to tell them what they mean to me, that for months i fretted over how i was going to make it in a new state where i know no one and from the moment i met them they've all been the most incredible individuals alive. they go above and beyond the call of duty every single day. they're all so honest and real, they present themselves clearly just like 'this is me, like me or not, i'm going to be me' and it's just such an amazing role model to watch. they have no apparent fear about bearing themselves entirely. and no it's not like they've totally told me everything about themselves, but i just know that if i had a problem they'd be there for me on a moments notice and they'd do it gladly adn they'd talk to me for as long as i needed and they'd wipe my tears and they'd take a walk with me and calm me down or whatever i needed, and it's not that my friends at home wouldn't do the same, i know all of my friends back in cali wouldn't give a moments thought about coming to my rescue but these are people i've known for less than 3 weeks! i mean at home it's like people i've spent my entire life getting to know, or at least my high school years. people that i've been around so long it seems only natural that they'd do anything for me, but my new friends- they owe me nothing, i have nothing to give them, and they expect nothing from me in return for their extraordinary friendship.
have you ever met someone and just walked away thinking, wow i wish they were my friend- that's what every single one of these people is like, except i don't have to wish for their affection- they hand it over no questions asked. it's so surreal, it's just...that's what it is, it's surreal.
i never thought i could love people this deeply so soon after meeting them, but being here i know- this is a place for miracles- changedfish
posted by changedfish @ 8:22 PM
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