funny, between the fireworks and the moon- i feel no nostalgia
i think God's teaching me a lot these days about submission, and not only that but just basically teaching me how to use my gifts properly. i just mean i'm used to being loud and basically the leader of the conversation and all, and truly it always bothered me, i never really liked that, because yes i feel i have leadership skills adn obviously i'm gifted with volume but i always felt that no matter what people always labeled me as the talkative one and that usually had the connotation that i didn't have anything of worth to say, that i was just spewing. and ok i'm not trying to refute that and say that i always have some amazing piece of intellect to share with the group but i'd like to think that people at least thought what i had to say was of the least bit of importance. and i think toward the end of my stay at home my friends and family were starting to realize that when i spoke i really did have something of value to say, maybe i used 12 words when 3 would do but still i wasn't just talking to talk, adn here i feel like people haven't yet gotten to that stage of loving me. loving me enough to listen to my useless stories to find the nugget i was getting at, and i'm kind of glad. it forces me in my place, gets me to realize i'm not the center of every universe adn that, that kind of respect must be earned. tell enough good stories, add enough quality anecdotes and you can say all you want, but say a bunch of "back in california..." boring blabs and no one really wants to listen to you finish your sentance anymore.
and i realize that this sounds like i'm complaining or that i'm somehow accusing my new friends of not listening to me, adn that's not my intention at all...i mean to say that all of this is a good thing. i'm glad that my stories don't hold much weight, that in a group as large as ours they're not on the edge of their seats waiting for me haha. it helps me fade into the background- something i'm not used to, something i need to master. i mean i guess in the back of my mind i have this overwhelming sense of self-importance and that's dangerous. me thinking that i'm all high and mighty and amazing all the time- that's stupid. i need to learn that God gave me certain gifts for a reason and so that i could glorify him, and if i'm always focused on myself that's not really working out for the best now is it?
well, i guess that's all i had to say about that ( i know, finished already?) but i wouldn't want to be excessive now would i? haha
changedfish- b sides are just as good as a sides
i think God's teaching me a lot these days about submission, and not only that but just basically teaching me how to use my gifts properly. i just mean i'm used to being loud and basically the leader of the conversation and all, and truly it always bothered me, i never really liked that, because yes i feel i have leadership skills adn obviously i'm gifted with volume but i always felt that no matter what people always labeled me as the talkative one and that usually had the connotation that i didn't have anything of worth to say, that i was just spewing. and ok i'm not trying to refute that and say that i always have some amazing piece of intellect to share with the group but i'd like to think that people at least thought what i had to say was of the least bit of importance. and i think toward the end of my stay at home my friends and family were starting to realize that when i spoke i really did have something of value to say, maybe i used 12 words when 3 would do but still i wasn't just talking to talk, adn here i feel like people haven't yet gotten to that stage of loving me. loving me enough to listen to my useless stories to find the nugget i was getting at, and i'm kind of glad. it forces me in my place, gets me to realize i'm not the center of every universe adn that, that kind of respect must be earned. tell enough good stories, add enough quality anecdotes and you can say all you want, but say a bunch of "back in california..." boring blabs and no one really wants to listen to you finish your sentance anymore.
and i realize that this sounds like i'm complaining or that i'm somehow accusing my new friends of not listening to me, adn that's not my intention at all...i mean to say that all of this is a good thing. i'm glad that my stories don't hold much weight, that in a group as large as ours they're not on the edge of their seats waiting for me haha. it helps me fade into the background- something i'm not used to, something i need to master. i mean i guess in the back of my mind i have this overwhelming sense of self-importance and that's dangerous. me thinking that i'm all high and mighty and amazing all the time- that's stupid. i need to learn that God gave me certain gifts for a reason and so that i could glorify him, and if i'm always focused on myself that's not really working out for the best now is it?
well, i guess that's all i had to say about that ( i know, finished already?) but i wouldn't want to be excessive now would i? haha
changedfish- b sides are just as good as a sides
posted by changedfish @ 12:12 AM
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