My Mother
what can you say about such a wonderful woman?
i know it's cheesy to write about ones mother. i realize that at least on some level everyone loves there mother deep down, but somehow i felt that my mom deserved special recognition.
my mom's just a special lady. sometimes i just sit there thinking about the future- hoping that someday i can be one third as amazing a woman, wife and mother as she is.
no, my mama's not perfect, she has flaws like anyone else. but God made her special, yes he did. he made he compationate and he made her sympathetic and empathetic to a fault, he made my mother level headed and logical and he made her patient and humble. my mother loves me like no one else in this world ever will or could. and it almost makes me ache to think about how much she really means to me.
i know as a teenage girl i'm not supposed to like my mom, i'm fully aware that these are the years at which we are supposed to be at eachother's throats, and yes we have our tense moments. but somehow as i get older it becomes easier for us to see eachother as people and not just as family. i mean some days my worst complaint is that she's too darn complimentary...no really, stop laughing it's annoying...my mother has that my daughter is the most amazing thing to walk the earth syndrome, only she tries to hide it...it's practically ridiculous.
i can't do anything, wear anything, say anything without her telling me how proud she is or how much i shine or how intelligent i am, how astounded she is that i've grown into the person i am today. it makes me beam sometimes but mainly it hurts. not in the bad way hurt- the good hurt. the hurt that you feel when you could never love anyone in that moment more than you love her, that feeling that you appreciate her words like they were precious stones. she may be my mommy but she believes in me, she thinks so highly of me i worry. i worry that i won't live up to her expectations, that i'm not as great as she makes me out to be. i'm afraid that one day she'll find me out and realize that i'm not this bursting beam of light that i am in fact human and normal just like every other person my age. sometimes she looks at me in this way that makes me nervous. like she just can't believe that i'm her daughter, like she's so excited inside that she can't contain it anymore and it streams out through her smile and up into her eyes. she thinks i'm beautiful, and that i sing like an angel, she tells me i have presence and that she's shocked by my intelligence, she talks about my future like i have no restraints, like i could climb everest if i wanted and not even gasp for breath. it's like because she's my mommy she's blinded to all ideas of flaws.
i can't imagine being a woman like my mother. i can't imagine anyone loving me as much as my father loves her. i can't imagine raising two girls and having them turn out ok. i can't imagine being as blessed in my life as she has been in hers. but because she believes it will happen for me, i believe it too
changedfish- i know it's not mother's day but it's close enough