transferred from another blog, another time, out of context..but it fit today

i don't want people to know what i'm thinking or be offended by my opinions, i mean it's my own thots adn i need to express them and stop being afraid so that's what i'm doing..i know it's not good to bottle up emotions but it seems the easiest way to appear unlike urself, if no one ever knows how ur feeling or what ur thinking then it's pretty hard for them to judge u....i don't like to be judged and catagorized and stuff but i do it to myself all the time, i find myself constantly telling people what i'm like and not jsut letting them form their own opinions, like why can't i just let them see me how they see me, why do i have to be right about myself...because they see how i really am and what i really do, not just what i want them to see or want to do and say, the people on the outside no me better than i know myself and that's probably what scares me the most...i have a big fear about letting people in..becuase then they're in and i can't get them out and once they're in they want to be there because they've obviously tried hard enuf to get there and then all i can think about is pushing them away....but once they're gone i feel empty, like i can't hold on to anyone...when in reality i do it all to myself.....

changedfish- history is cyclical