"though my moves were intentional they were the wrong ones. I've...by-passed the essentials and harped on the unnecessaries. though it was the easy road at the time...it will be the harder to recover from"

sometimes the road less traveled, the more difficult, the more ridiculed, sometimes the road that others find ridiculous, sometimes that road is the one true road. the road without regret and a foreign sense of defeat. i didn't choose that road this time. i saw that road, i looked at it and said 'i've been there, i've walked that road adn it was good to me- it didn't trip me up or leave me with painful scars' i saw that road and i said to it, 'you faithful road that has kept me safe all this time, you road that has never let me down, you road that i promised always to follow- i'm leaving you. i'm going to walk through the brush and forest now.' i said to that road, 'no matter how great you may be, some othe rpeople have told me that hacking unsuredly through the spikes and snares is better. i'm going to stomp around the sharp bushes and cut myself up. i'm going to get lost several times before finding myself back where i started adn then, i fully intend on tripping over and exposed root. i'm going to find every wrong turn and take it, i'm going to bandage myself up only to begin bleeding again' and the whole way i am going to keep telling myself that this new path i'm trodding is the true path. that this road is where all the others have gone and that it's a part of growing older. i'm going to look at my old road so safe and naive and laugh at it as if i beleive that i've truly out-smarted it.
and then one day, when i'm calloused and hard, some day down the road i'll look back on my past. i'll see my old road all groomed and calm, i'll see it so peaceful and gentle and safe, and i'll realize with much greif and a large sigh that i can never go back that way. i'll see my mistakes- so harsh, cold and real- and i'll wonder what my life would have been like down that path, wonder what the draw was to step off adn become this. i am savage and hard, blistered and burned, i am battle-hardened adn worldly, and although i once laughed in the faces of those that kept to the path- tried to convince them, and in truth myself, that the wilderness was better, that it was closed minded, playing it safe to do what they were doing, that they new so little of the world around them- i will someday look back adn know without a doubt that what they did was right. they perservered. it was them that knew right and wrong, that chose what was best for their lives.
in the end, it's not naivety- it's good sense. changedfish