If you find yourself here, on my side of town, I pray that you'd come to my door. And talk to me like you don't know what we ever fought about, 'cuz I don't remember anymore...

so i've decided that i actually am the kind of crazy staulker that i hate...well maybe not to the extent that some have staulked me, but still. i mean ok i'm a firm believer that america is far too attached to their cell phones and yet i'm also an avid supporter of everyone having one, because when i try to get ahold of people- well it's a problem haha. i'm also a spokesperson for dsl because seriously whether it's actually as fast as the commercials say it is or not at least it doesn't tie up the phone line haha.....
and after having said all of that i return to my original point that i'm a crazy staulker! ok seriously like a few years ago it would've been no big deal if someone didn't have a cell phone or their line was busy due to internet, but now all of a sudden i'm a stuck up snobby american and i have to call like a million times to check if maybe now the line is open...i'm a lune..someone please shoot me, because seriously it's not even that i want to talk to that person that badly it's more the simple fact that they are unreachable...because honestly most of the time it's not even important it's really the sheer idea of something being impossible..and that's what makes me believe that i'm crazy, because why can't i just let things go...i'm a nut case, though in realizing that i think it takes my insanity down a peg but if i were you i still wouldn't hang out with me...perhaps i should give the crazy people who constantly call me a break, i mean perhaps they were just trying to attempt the impossible or perhaps they were simply trying to get ahold of me and not create that super awkward, creepy vibe...and truly if i'd only had the problem once i wouldn't think twice about it, but it's the repeatition issue that gets me, and so i start to think, what if i, too, am a serial staulker and i haven't even realized it, i mean do i call people too often? do i send too many emails? do people actually wish i would not stop and tlak to them on the way to class?....and while i think that perhaps now i'm just being paranoid and people don't think that hard about my actions because i'm not as important to others as i am to myself, it still looms in the background as that gastly beast that has no face type figure. it's that constant awareness that i should watch myself lest i become pesty...i really do have a fear of coming on too strongly, because i'm fully aware that i have a bit too much personality and VOLUME....and on the other hand i know that a lot of people, esp. when first meeting me, don't seem to notice or mind so....i don't know
i need to get out more-changedfish