the clouds lift and the duck is a swan....
confused? ya..that was a strange title but it's totally true...i mean i've been blaming my low self-esteem on the ugly duckling syndrome forever and it's like finally...i don't feel ugly anymore, i don't feel so stupid, i don't feel fat, i don't feel unwanted....i feel like i have friends, and people that genuinely care about me....and i'm soo excited! i mean seriously it's taken me this long to get to this point...and w/this new enlightenment comes a lot of decisions esp. about which direction i take, i mean i could go straight to the snobby, i'm-better attitude, and that's a danger, but no i still try to be humble and all....o gosh this time in my life has been so weird, it's like i've come to the realization that a lotta things really just don't matter! and seriously they don't! this is just high school y wig out about every little thing (which i tend to do majorly!) but rather just go over the hump and get back on track! it's like who cares what others think as long as ur happy, and i know that sounds TOTALLY selfish, and it is, but i think if it's the right thing ur happy about it's ok...i mean not everyone agrees w/me on all levels but that doesn't mean i should cater to them does it? NO! i dunno and also a part of me says it's only high school and ur bound to screw up a bit and ur bound to do stupid things and that's ok! i mean seriously if ur always worried about doing something wrong u'll never live! just live...it's the best thing life has to offer hehe. i'm not saying u set urself up for failure, i'm not saying u do something wrong and say it's ok cuz it's only high school...but i am saying that u shouldn't go all nutz-o if it's not as bigga deal as it seems....some things R a big deal...friends, relationships, classes these things DO matter..and i've heard college and past people talk and they say things about it not being important and on a level i agree w/them but then being there in the setting everyday i think that it does matter, and everyday we're faced w/decisions and problems that can alter the world we live in..this fish bowl can become clouded if to many factors blow up ya no.
welp i think i've rambled my wisdom enuf now....so ta-ta changedfish (aka babs)