awww! not-ah!
people think i'm genuine! i mean, they have a right to think so, i am, i'm not faking anything! i just mean, i never heard it much before, but i guess someone was talking to my mom at camp about it, and then my mom was giving me this whole speach (or speech, who knows which one) about how much better life will be if i stay true to myself and am real and genuine and all, and it was like i couldn't help feeling like i wasn't worthy of her praise and adoration cuz it's not really something i try for. i mean i'm not trying to down-play it, like it's not important, i think it's the best thing going for me now, and i'm not trying to brag ither, that wasn't my intention, it's just that i didn't know people saw me that way, and it makes me nervous that someone i don't know all that well thinks so highly of me.  i don't like that, i mean high expectations just make me more apt to failure.  and it's not something i can really stick to or anything because i didn't realize i was doing it, or know how i do it or whateva. i mean i guess i'm just me...but i didn't really realize that that was a good or special thing i mean, isn't everyone themselves? i dunno, i guess it's all part of the God loving person i am, but somehow it still makes me nervous!
changedfish