i have many thots today, be prepared! lol
first i've decided i don't think i like being kidded around with..i don't mean i don't like cracking jokes (it's practically my life) i guess i just don't like being bombarded with remarks (funny or not) without a chance to explain... you know that feeling when people are joking about u and u feel that u can't defend urself? like there are more of them and they don't understand! well that's kinda how i feel sometimes...like i don't even mind if people laugh at me i think it's funny most of the time! i LOVE jokes and making fun of me and stuff...the part i don't like is a group of people and i'm the butt of the joke and i have NO chance of them listening to the truth of the matter...it happens a lot to me lately! ugh...but it's not that bad, i can live w/it cuz i know they only give me a hard time cuz they love me ... rite??
also, it seems that often when i've been talking to my friends lately we talk about marriage, or boyfriends, or wutever, and we talk about all the things that we are gonna have when we're married or the kinds of boyfriends we'd like to have....and every-so-often i get a fear, creeping up in the back of my mind, crawling up my neck...what if these things don't happen to me? now don't start thinking i'm having some kind of pity party, cuz somewhere deep inside i know God has the perfect guy for me and i'm sure i'll end up married to some goofball that loves me more than i can ever even imagine...however the thots r still there...it's like when paul (my youth pastor) was talking on wednesday about how the worst feeling is the feeling that God's not going to be there for u and help you out...David trusted God..y can't i? i'm soo weak sometimes! it's just, the world revolves around love and lust and being together and all that biznass and sometimes u just want it soo bad that u can't even see the real picture in front of you...i tell myself "don't date in high school" but then there's that huge lingering but at the end like "but if u find the right guy" or "but u could experience it" etc....but i don't WANT to deep down, i want to forget about guys all together for a few years, and when the time is right leap into it w/gusto (yes, i said gusto--twice)
wutever wish me luck w/my suitors...changedfish
first i've decided i don't think i like being kidded around with..i don't mean i don't like cracking jokes (it's practically my life) i guess i just don't like being bombarded with remarks (funny or not) without a chance to explain... you know that feeling when people are joking about u and u feel that u can't defend urself? like there are more of them and they don't understand! well that's kinda how i feel sometimes...like i don't even mind if people laugh at me i think it's funny most of the time! i LOVE jokes and making fun of me and stuff...the part i don't like is a group of people and i'm the butt of the joke and i have NO chance of them listening to the truth of the matter...it happens a lot to me lately! ugh...but it's not that bad, i can live w/it cuz i know they only give me a hard time cuz they love me ... rite??
also, it seems that often when i've been talking to my friends lately we talk about marriage, or boyfriends, or wutever, and we talk about all the things that we are gonna have when we're married or the kinds of boyfriends we'd like to have....and every-so-often i get a fear, creeping up in the back of my mind, crawling up my neck...what if these things don't happen to me? now don't start thinking i'm having some kind of pity party, cuz somewhere deep inside i know God has the perfect guy for me and i'm sure i'll end up married to some goofball that loves me more than i can ever even imagine...however the thots r still there...it's like when paul (my youth pastor) was talking on wednesday about how the worst feeling is the feeling that God's not going to be there for u and help you out...David trusted God..y can't i? i'm soo weak sometimes! it's just, the world revolves around love and lust and being together and all that biznass and sometimes u just want it soo bad that u can't even see the real picture in front of you...i tell myself "don't date in high school" but then there's that huge lingering but at the end like "but if u find the right guy" or "but u could experience it" etc....but i don't WANT to deep down, i want to forget about guys all together for a few years, and when the time is right leap into it w/gusto (yes, i said gusto--twice)
wutever wish me luck w/my suitors...changedfish
posted by changedfish @ 7:10 PM
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