u no, sometimes i just wish things went differently! i wish i was this...or that...or not me! cuz if u haven't noticed, nothing goes the way i want it to! i mean, for a time it will, but in the end everything just gets screwy! (is that even a word? prolly not!) its not that i'm unhappy, it's not that i'm not enjoying everything about my life and stuff, i am. it's just that every-so-often i realize what could have happened and i just kick myself!!! i could have had what i wanted! or i could have avoided this! i mean, geez! y can't i just think about things before i do them? it's ridiculous! i screw up sooo many things because i say the wrong thing, most of the time because i say too much! and it sux! it's like, sometimes i wish i could just be one of those really quite girls that is just silent! i mean, guys like that, they like the whole mystery thing, and that annoys me, cuz i'll never be like that, i'll always talk way too much, i'll always say the wrong things, i'll always be the loud mouthed dork! and that just pisses me off! but wutever rite? rite?
no, not even! cuz it's not wutever, its my life dang it all! and if something goes wrong, it's not wutever to me! it's not! i just say it is! i just say i'm not pissed, i just say everythings ok, i just act like things don't bother me and everything in the world is rite and wonderful and peachy! y do i do that? why can't i just say some things? and not others? y do i talk forever on something that no one cares about and never about stuff thats really important to me? i mean, when am i gonna get that people just don't care, and the only ones who do, r the people i'll never be able to talk about stuff with, so i guess in the end i'm just screwed up and only i know it! is that the case, is that what's really bothering me, that no one gets me, that no one knows what's bothering me! grr...and in the end, i still say "whatever, who cares?"
changedfish