so i've come to the conclusion that i've gotten truly boring...i mean this blog used to be good and juicy and now....all i have to talk about is the oatmeal creme pies that stef's rents got me or the way awesome glass of water on the desk...it's pretty pathetic...but i swear i still have profound thots...they're just kinda hidden w/in right? o gosh i'm drying up...i need a hint of adventure and yet i'm afraid to take risks, my parents couldn't handle it if i did anything wrong, they have enuf on their minds for some crazy reason cuz nothing ever goes wrong around here but wutev.
and then it occured to me that i feel that i'm boring cuz i'm trying to impress everyone that reads this cuz there's a lot of u, and i'm always saying "o yea and i have this blog..." and i shouldn't do that cuz then people read it and think that everything i write on here was when i was level headed and thinking clearly and that i planned it out instead of the reality of the situation which is that i write whatever seems to pop into my head at the time in whutever mood i'm in, which is usually only when i'm ither extremely bored or horrendously pissed off or way lonely or something odd like that...i dunno i keep thinking maybe i'll make it a private blog or change the address but really i like it this way, i like people having access to my feelings, thots, dreams, fears...i like that they can just read about what's really going on inside if they want to cuz y'all know i'm not good at expressing myself any other way than this thing...i mean i don't cry or yell very often and so u all seem to think that means i'm always happy but then most people read this and think "hey she's just as psycho teenage as the rest of us!" and it's true...i think i'm pretty average in means of redding teens, ok so i don't party it up w/the drugs and alchy and stuff but heck not everyone does and so i dont' have a b/f but most people i know don't and serioulsy whatev for that thing nehow i'm fine, like stephanie hiser was saying some girls "do single well" i'd like to think i'm one'a those kindsa girls! nehow i think that i'm as normal as i can be for me and i don't htink people mind the oddities i tend to possess i mean do ya? haha so i guess this is another blog about nothing but u no what almost my whole entire life is about nothing, adn that excites me, and i have fun doing that...i mean i just spent most of the week in reno w/my friend and her family and it was like we did nothing adn everything at the same time adn it was soo much fun, and now i'm home and bored but i'm not cuz i still have things to do and people to talk to and it's just like i can't help but smile and think about how awesome my life is and then on the other hand i can't help but fight back the tears at times about how boring and how much it sux and it's gotta just be normal for peopel to think that but it bugs me that i let things in life get to me cuz tehy're not important and i know that...i eman like this blog i'm messing up all the words and i know it and rather than just let it go usually i go back and edit it all and make it letter perfect and even if i miss something and i see it later (even months later) i go back and fix it and that's just annoying..to ME and it's MY thing that i do...ya no i once heard that the things u hate most about others, r qualities u posess urself...adn i think that's sooo true but gosh am i an annoying person if that's true, how the heck do i even have any friends? haha
and don't think i'm asking that seriously it's rhetorical...i'm not one'a those "omgsh i'm so fat" girls or at least i try not to be...so wutev, i lost the point i was making if i was even making one...i just havn't written in a while and i thot i'd say why...it's cuz i really have nothing to say, no one's making fun of me, or in love w/me, or mad at me or wutever...i'm pretty bland at the moment...
changedfish..no life...but it's aight
and then it occured to me that i feel that i'm boring cuz i'm trying to impress everyone that reads this cuz there's a lot of u, and i'm always saying "o yea and i have this blog..." and i shouldn't do that cuz then people read it and think that everything i write on here was when i was level headed and thinking clearly and that i planned it out instead of the reality of the situation which is that i write whatever seems to pop into my head at the time in whutever mood i'm in, which is usually only when i'm ither extremely bored or horrendously pissed off or way lonely or something odd like that...i dunno i keep thinking maybe i'll make it a private blog or change the address but really i like it this way, i like people having access to my feelings, thots, dreams, fears...i like that they can just read about what's really going on inside if they want to cuz y'all know i'm not good at expressing myself any other way than this thing...i mean i don't cry or yell very often and so u all seem to think that means i'm always happy but then most people read this and think "hey she's just as psycho teenage as the rest of us!" and it's true...i think i'm pretty average in means of redding teens, ok so i don't party it up w/the drugs and alchy and stuff but heck not everyone does and so i dont' have a b/f but most people i know don't and serioulsy whatev for that thing nehow i'm fine, like stephanie hiser was saying some girls "do single well" i'd like to think i'm one'a those kindsa girls! nehow i think that i'm as normal as i can be for me and i don't htink people mind the oddities i tend to possess i mean do ya? haha so i guess this is another blog about nothing but u no what almost my whole entire life is about nothing, adn that excites me, and i have fun doing that...i mean i just spent most of the week in reno w/my friend and her family and it was like we did nothing adn everything at the same time adn it was soo much fun, and now i'm home and bored but i'm not cuz i still have things to do and people to talk to and it's just like i can't help but smile and think about how awesome my life is and then on the other hand i can't help but fight back the tears at times about how boring and how much it sux and it's gotta just be normal for peopel to think that but it bugs me that i let things in life get to me cuz tehy're not important and i know that...i eman like this blog i'm messing up all the words and i know it and rather than just let it go usually i go back and edit it all and make it letter perfect and even if i miss something and i see it later (even months later) i go back and fix it and that's just annoying..to ME and it's MY thing that i do...ya no i once heard that the things u hate most about others, r qualities u posess urself...adn i think that's sooo true but gosh am i an annoying person if that's true, how the heck do i even have any friends? haha
and don't think i'm asking that seriously it's rhetorical...i'm not one'a those "omgsh i'm so fat" girls or at least i try not to be...so wutev, i lost the point i was making if i was even making one...i just havn't written in a while and i thot i'd say why...it's cuz i really have nothing to say, no one's making fun of me, or in love w/me, or mad at me or wutever...i'm pretty bland at the moment...
changedfish..no life...but it's aight
posted by changedfish @ 2:58 AM
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