goodness gracious, i luv to write!!! i mean everything makes sense on paper, or rather on computer screen. it seems this has been quite a blessing actually, i mean i dunno, i've never had the determination to actually pick up that whole journal thing!! but here, it's like i'm online anyhow, so y not? and people can read it, and understand me better, i don't have to explain myself, but yet, i feel like im not really talking to anyone!!!
some people ask u to describe urself, and u know how u just tense up and get clammy and u start w/a meek "uh...um...well...i guess...um.." ring a bell? thot so...but i figure w/this i can think about my answer, it's not a direct connetion, i can edit and delete etc, etc. so first of all, if u've even read one entry b4 u've prolly figured out that i luv music!!!! it's just my nature, i'm always around it, listening to it, like 24/7, i sleep w/it on, i wake w/it on, it's just the best thing God has for us, besides himself, that's y i luv church songs, i mean combining the two best things in life, wut could be better? uh...NOTHING!!! but on a different note, im also very lively, wen im not around music, im around people!! I LUV PEOPLE, its just my nature, i'm always around them, thinking about them conversing w/them etc. etc. etc. i mean geez, wut's better than listening to music w/friends, or going to uth group w/ur buddies? not much, that's for sure... i used to think i was missing out on something great, like there must b SOMETHING i was missing, sheilding myself this way. but then i realized it's not me, obviously! i mean, ya im missing some things, but nothing i need! i know wut i need and i know wut He wants for me, so y search unneccasarily? exactly! it's the same w/dating...i don't go around dating a buncha guys just for fun, im waiting, for a good one, a nice christian guy that's gonna like me, no matter how loud and "eccentric" i am, no matter how much i don't resemble a Barbie doll. for every time i think i'm not good enuf, i no that it's not tru, i know it, and yet i don't always think it...DANG!! im confused, doesn't it seem? but im not, truely, i don't think i am, i think i have a lotta things figured out that a lotta other people, (girls esp.) don't! um..u've prolly grown tired of these long, drawn-out, confusing entries, it seems that's all i write, but to me,thats the best kind, it gets into my mind, it helps me to think, it helps me to connect my thots in type, it really, genuinly does, no matter wut's going on w/everything and everyone else, i manage to write down my thots and process them along the way, and really now, how long does it take to read this? not long i don't think, esp. if u want to! anyhow, cutting off, changedfish